Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My first paragraph

 It was Sunday morning and Ashley her husband Paul and their daughter Maggie were headed off to the park.             

                                                  "Ashley do you have the keys?" "

                                        " Yes i do I'm going in the car with Maggie"

                                "Okay i will meet you out in the car in a few seconds."

Once we were all in the car we were headed off to have a fantastic day at the park. When we arrived at the park it was very quite but the field was all muddy because it rained the night before. 

                    Ashley said " I am going to rinse my feet off in the water I will be right back"

While Ashley was over near the water, Paul and Maggie noticed she was gone for quite a while. Maggie was worrying about her so she ran over and said "mom are you okay?" She said "ya I'm fine, I just dropped something and cannot figure out where it has gone!"

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2 comments:

  1. shawn dFebruary 4, 2011 at 2:04 PM

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  2. shawn dFebruary 8, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    Meghan, I really liked how you were making the setting interesting and having Ashley and her family starting a new day with happiness. You used some dialogue in the some. You might want to indent the first paragraph. And I can't wait to hear the rest of the story

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